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WEDDING CEREMONIES
Love is the perfect stillness and greatest excitement, and most profound act,
and the word almost as complete as the name of the Beloved.
~ Rabia, Sufi Saint
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Consider an Interfaith Minister for your wedding if you want a ceremony that is:
Non-Denominational ♥ Religious ♥ Spiritual but not traditionally religious
An alternative to a Justice-of-the-Peace ♥ Reflective of your shared values
♥ A celebration that honors your different faiths and / or ethnic backgrounds ♥
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| Ravi & Diane in CT country inn: walking the traditional Hindu saptapadi: the 7 circles of abundance, strength, prosperity, happiness, family, harmony, & friendship (Catherine Kiernan Photography) |
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| Congratulations!
. . . on entering your path of discovery with a wish to create new memories. Above all, these are your moments and your plans - free yourselves to have fun with them! I am here to help guide you and spend time with you on ideas and creativity. For more information on how we will work together, please see the "Working With You" page.
Wedding couples have given me the pleasure of officiating their ceremony indoors, outdoors, at home, in garden conservatories, and on top of a harbor lighthouse! What kind of location is special to you?
Depending on your needs and tastes, your ceremony can be as simple or as elaborate as you like. Typically, a ceremony that includes the classic elements such as the Minister's Welcome and Address, one or two readings, your vows and ring exchanges, a blessing, symbolic rituals, and certainly the legally required elements of The Intent (AKA The Consent) and The Pronouncement, will extend from 15 to 20 minutes, possibly 25. I understand that if you tend to be nervous and shy, you may want the ceremony to be shorter in time. However, if you do have a spark of desire to enjoy creating more for your unique moment and really would like to try for a longer ceremony, remember this: emotion (including nervousness) is all energy. It can be transformed into excitement and joy! I can help you with speaking if you would like.
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| Huntington Harbor Lighthouse |
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| Holly and Rob, lovers of gardening, in the Brooklyn Botanic Garden Conservatory (Rolfe Tessem Photography) |
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Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,
but by the number of moments that take our breath away!
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| Newly married Stacy and Chris on their favorite L.I. beach |
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| What kinds of elements are special to you? By all means, HAVE FUN! So many times, couples hardly remember their own ceremony because they are beset with nerves and responsibilities. Do not be afraid to delegate responsibilities, which will leave your minds and hearts free during your weeks of preparation to not only imagine exactly how you would like your ceremony to unfold, but later in the actual event your minds and hearts will be free to absorb the absolute impact of each moment. I look forward to laughing with my couples and to the working-out-of-problems . . . ah, those sighs of relief!
I will ask you from the beginning of our time together, "How can I help you to be present during your ceremony?"
Finally, do remember that, although all plans for a pristine event have been made . . . things can happen! The best thing to do to truly prepare is to remind yourself once in a while to include the word "apparent" inbetween "in" and "order". It will help you to remain flexible! Know that you prepared as best you could with all consideration, joy, and excitement. But do know that however the event unfolds is the way it is meant to. Others will always come to your aid. Release yourself from worry. Lao Tzu, Taoist of China 570-490BC, advised "A good traveller has no fixed plans and is not intent on arriving". And the lilies-of-the-field of the Bible were not concerned about their next day's raiment - yet how much more beautifully adorned could they be! What more can we ask of ourselves than the most perfect attention we can give?
And don't forget! If you have animals as part of your family and want to include them too ~ well then you must! (I'm waiting for a horseback event.)
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| Paul and Diane exchanging rings on the Huntington Harbor Lighthouse, with Best Man Steve & Diane's Maid-of-Honor, daughter Sarah |
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| The Bride & her party arrived at Old Field Club on the North Fork Trolley |
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Celebrating Interfaith Marriages - Creating Your Jewish/Christian Ceremony: Rabbi Devon A. Lerner. $16.00. An exceedingly helpful and honest look at the Jewish/Christian partnership. This book is especially for you if there is family conflict and you wish to find a way to express your love and beliefs while honoring both of your traditions and without creating offense to each other or to your families. The Introduction and Part 1 navigates you through the details of working with each tradition's inclusion in ceremony and what to expect when hiring an officiant from each tradition. Parts 2, 3, and 4 include sample ceremonies and readings. A definite read if you are in this situation. Gay and lesbian couples are also referenced: see Introduction, page xix (pbk), for a listing of books specific to you and the marriage or committment ceremony in your future.
Into the Garden - A Wedding Anthology: Robert Hass and Stephen Mitchell, editors. $13.95. Poetry and prose on love and marriage, often accompanied by caption descriptions of the authors and/or cultural/historical information.
Joining Hands and Hearts - Interfaith, Intercultural Wedding Celebrations: Rev. Susanna Stefanachi Macomb. $14.00. An extensive book that describes the basic aspects of constructing a ceremony as well as rituals, symbolisms, and traditions from many ethnic cultures, nations, and faiths.
Love Poems from God - 12 Sacred Voices from the East and West: Daniel Ladinsky. $15.00. From book jacket: "In both eastern and western spiritual traditions, it is believed that mystics and saints receive [the] gift[s] that make them poetic conduits of the divine, bearers of 'love poems from God'". In this inspirational volume of 300 works we also find out what great humorists these spiritual mystics really were! Each chapter is dedicated to one poet who is introduced with biography. The poets are women and men who hail from India, Persia, ancient Mesopotamia, Turkey, Afghanistan, Spain, Germany, France, and Italy, and whose works span the years 717 to 1649. Choose from these works to: offer a blessing to your congregation, express your dedicated love to each other, to express your spiritual philosophy or gratitude to the spiritual realm, and to search for "double entendre" expressions of honoring the Divine as well as the Divine Love you have found in each other.
Prayer - Language of the Soul: Philip Dunn. $24.95. Part II is a compilation of inspiring words from the world's different cultures on themes from abundance to peace, providing ideas to help you visualize and verbalize your wishes and hopes.
The Jewish Book of Why: Alfred J. Kolatch. $13.00. This easy-to-read encyclopedic guide explains both the significance and the origin of nearly every symbol and practice known to Jewish culture, and includes historical references. Very helpful to those who are not observant yet want to include a Jewish custom in their ceremony as an act of honoring their heritage and ancestors. Extensive bibliography is helpful to those who would like more details. Interesting and delightful.
Wedding Vows - Beyond Love, Honor, and Cherish: Susan Lee Smith. $12.95. Complete with worksheets to help you personalize your ceremony, the author brings you through the construction of your wedding from the consumer's point of view - listing all the important questions not only to ask yourselves but the folks you will be commissioning to work with. Includes vow samples from various traditions, second weddings, vow renewals, inclusion of children.
Wedding Vows - Finding the Perfect Words: Michael Macfarlane. $8.95. A lovely little book that contains basic explanations of the wedding ceremony, sometimes using engaging examples from his own experience. Includes a fabulous section on the variety of vows possible, offering ways in which they can be constructed as uniquely and personally significant. A great place to start even if just to get your thoughts in order. Includes vows for second marriages, vows to include children or parents, vow renewals.
Wedding Vows - How to Express Your Love in Your Own Words: Peg Kehret. $11.95. Includes many examples of wedding vows as well as sections on ring ceremonies, special vows, vows including children, and anniversary vows. First four chapters encourages couples to work together in constructing their ceremony, offering a realistic approach to the technicalities - for example, please read Chapter Two - The Officiate. This chapter alone justifies your need for knowing every detail of your important celebration and shows how significant - and joyous - your ceremony is when YOU are thoroughly involved in it!
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Our Beloved said,
I am made whole by your life. Each soul, each soul completes me.
~ Hafiz, Persian mystic
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| the final blessing . . . |
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hurray!
you're married!
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| . . . the signing! |
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