Cascade of Light Interfaith Weddings and Ceremonies

a blessing for Mark and Kathy's Sebastian

SACREDNESS OF CEREMONY

For you shall go out with joy and be led forth with peace.

The mountains and the hills shall

break forth before you into singing,

and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands.

~ Isaiah 55:12

just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly

MEMORIES AND DREAMS . . .

. . . are powerful instruments of introspection. They can be applied to not only weddings, but to committment ceremonies, vow renewals, blessings for new things like babies, animals, homes, businesses and careers, for life path events or changes, and certainly to funerals and memorials. Just like with weddings, you may want to have a simple moment or a large gathering. Can't decide which? Just think about what kind of support you would like to have during the event, what you would like to share, and with whom. Your comfort and freedom of expression is important and is what will make these moments "sacred" to you.

Ceremonies are one way people have to express their desires for happiness, for closure, for reaching goals, for healing, for hope, to open opportunities, and to offer blessings for family and friends and spaces. Celebrations can be religious, spiritual, non-denominational, and simply a landmark in time. Express yourself with words or actions that illuminate your wishes and thoughts. Reflect your beliefs in the rituals you choose. Consider the construction of your celebration as a path of discovery.

BLESSINGS FROM THE FENG SHUI TRADITION

Since I am a Feng Shui Consultant, I am fond of the blessings and methods of this tradition. Feng Shui is the most ancient of the healing arts of the Orient and follows the same Eastern medical philosophies as acupuncture. It is a wonderful tool for modern folks to use while reflecting on their patterns of the past and on how they would like to proceed into the future. I honor the Feng Shui tradition as taught by H.H. Rinpoche Grandmaster Thomas Lin Yun.

ABOUT FUNERALS

AND LIVING FUNERALS

Tenderly, I now touch all things, knowing one day we will part.

~ St. John of the Cross

Death touches us - it moves among us like a breeze. Death touches us and moves on. It returns and returns until finally it returns for our own final transition.

Because this is a trying time, you will most likely need help. Accept it. There is no time like now to need help from friends and family who know and love you. Consider delegating tasks such as arranging announcements, donation requests, calendar arrangements, and so forth. Have family and friends exchange contact information. It might also be wise to only have one or two persons act as your central contact.

If you are the type to feel uncomfortable in asking for help - have confidence. People will come to your aid. Trust. Allow their goodness to shine. And - do consider that their participation may help them come to their own closure in regards to the deceased as well. If you are the one being asked to be a support person, you too should not hesitate to ask for help in your own life if you need it now.

If you decide to enlist a Minister or Rabbi, there will probably be a list of questions that s/he will want to ask so that the service is not only accurate, but will serve to provide closure, comfort, and an open door to new beginnings. The important thing is to have a service that means the most to you and that serves to fulfill the wishes of the deceased. Sharing memories at a funeral or memorial can be a perfect way to unite family and friends in the healthy process of grieving, of constructing meaningful resolutions, and bonding minds to joyous memories. Memories are permanent, yet perceptions of old memories can shift.

If you are in a process of planning a funeral or memorial over an extended time, or are arranging for a "living funeral", read the inspiring book by Mitch Albom "Tuesdays with Morrie", or see the movie.

Living funerals are a wonderful way of celebrating your life while still in life. A "living funeral" seems a strange dichotomy, yet for those who are confronted with death through progressive debilitation or disease, an event such as this often provides great relief to the dying as well as for family and friends. Debilitation and death is confronted supportively and insightfully within community. To gather with others of one's life and memories to share questions, memories, and stories can be a wondrously uplifting time for all, and much appreciated. You might instead want to name the ceremony a "life celebration"!

We say so often how those at the end of life are progressively diminished in quality of life and how we want to "just make them comfortable" or to "improve the quality of life" in some way. To administer love and support and recognition through community can be the greatest avenue toward clearing the patient's outlook on their future.

RESOURCES:

Facility Care Massage Network: contact LMT's Fran Karpowich/Leslie Celadhan 631-943-5443. Mission: To bring the many physiological and emotional effects of nurturing, compassionate touch to the largely forgotten population of geriatric and infirm with the overall purpose of enhancing quality of life during hospice care, and in nursing homes, assisted living, and rehabilitation facilities. We are available for presentations, including demonstration.

In Memoriam - A Practical Guide to Planning a Memorial Service: Bennett and Foley. $12.00. An easy-to-read and practical guide for the purpose of helping you create a formal or informal, creative or traditional service. But more than this, it is a comforting and uplifting read; the authors have a knack for addressing our understandable dread towards the death event. The last chapter, Basic Funeral Planning, lends clarity to the short-term decision making that you must make during a time of great emotion. Truly a book for all of us.

The Jewish Book of Why: Alfred J. Kolatch. $13.00. This easy-to-read encyclopedic guide explains both the significance and the origin of nearly every symbol and practice known to Jewish culture, and includes historical references. Very helpful to those who are not observant yet want to include a Jewish custom in their ceremony as an act of honoring their heritage and ancestors. Extensive bibliography is helpful to those who would like more details. Interesting and delightful.

The Ten Challenges - Spiritual Lessons from the Ten Commandments for Creating Meaning, Growth, and Richness Every Day of Your Life: Leonard Felder, PhD. $13.00. One of the required readings for Seminary, this is a genuinely engaging book with a mission to have folks re-think the 10 Commandments into something more personally practicable, providing for profound resolution of issues. A very helpful, gently written book for those seeking to heal wounds and are willing to actively process through their issues. From his Introduction: "I began to study them not as ancient, angry warnings but as useful psychological insights about how to have a fulfilling life. I studied just how much the issues raised by the 10 Commandments are 10 of the most essential challenges we face in our lives." Supportive for those planning a ceremony while concerned about unresolved relationship difficulties.

Whoever prays for others also sees his or her own dreams fulfilled ~ Talmud